selamat jalan,pa..

Papa dimakamkan kemarin,15 Jul 2013.seperti gak percaya kalo ini benar,sampe jenazah diturunkan ke liang lahat.
maafin kami pa...kalau tidak banyak waktu kami untukmu,
maafin kami pa...kalau tidak banyak waktu kami habiskan bersamamu,
maafin kami pa...kalaupun kami berkunjung,lebih banyak waktu kami habiskan untuk mengurus keperluan kami sendiri,
maafin kami pa...kalau kami sering tidak sabar dalam mengurusmu di hari2 tua mu,
beribu-ribu maaf dari kami pa...kami tidak mendampingimu Di saat-saat papa meninggalkan dunia ini.
Ya Allah...perkenankan kami berkumpul kembali Di surga Mu yang kekal kelak....aku mohon ya Allah,kabulkan doa ku ini
aamiin....

Maafkan aku..wahai Anakku..

Kuantar engkau tidur malam ini....
seperti biasa,
bersama kita ucapkan do'a sebelum tidur
sambil tanganmu melingkar di leherku
engkau tersenyum....
matamu menatapku bening.... dan bahagia

sudah kau lupakan sedihmu tadi pagi....
saat aku marah
karena engkau tidak menuruti perintahku
kulontarkan anak panah tajam kata-kata mengkritikmu...
berapa banyak nak...
kata kata tajam yang menancap di hatimu
hingga hatimu terluka....
tapi engkau tidak kesal padaku
engkau tiada kesal padaku jua...

padahal tadi siang aku menatapmu dengan panasnya amarah
hanya karena masalah sepele
yang bahkan akupun tahu engkau tak bermaksud melakukannya
berapa banyak benih cinta di dalam ladang hatimu yang hangus karena tatapanku nak...
tapi engkau tak pernah jera untuk mencintaiku...

sementara tadi sore .....
engkau tertunduk,
saat aku tuding engkau ......
sebab kurasa engkau tak pernah memperhatikan kata kataku...
tembuskah tombak telunjukku menusuk jantungmu nak...
masih tetap engkau mencari aku untuk memelukmu...

sesudah saat makan malam tadi
aku menghukummu saat kau tak menghabiskan makananmu
yang kubilang telah aku buat dengan susah payah
menyusutkah rasa sayang dalam kantong jiwamu karenanya nak....

malam ini kutemani engkau tidur seperti biasa
bersama kita ucapkan do'a sebelum tidur
sambil tanganmu melingkar di leherku
engkau tersenyum....
matamu yang mengantuk ....
menatapku...
bening....dan bahagia

airmataku meleleh... saat engkau terpejam
dengan senyummu yang masih dibibir
dan tanganmu masih memeluk leherku

aku mohon maaf nak...
aku mohon maafmu nak....
ajari aku mencintaimu...
seperti engkau mencintaiku

NOTE :
Subhanallah.......
sering kita mencari seperti apa jiwa-jiwa pemaaf....
ternyata Allah menunjukkan pada kita
ada jiwa pemaaf yang dekat dengan kita....
anak-anak kita....

catatan kh. abdullah gymnastiar 29072010
re-write dari note-nya Aleksander Hartawan

Rabbi, bangunkan untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu

"Rabbi, bangunkan untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; biar ia menjadi tempat berteduh jiwaku dari terik & derasnya arus dunia
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; biar ahli dunia berebut istana; cukup bagiku majelis kecil padaMu bermesra
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; biar di sana tersimpan segala puji yang orang beri & aku tak layak menerima
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; jika lelah-lukaku, pedih-galauku, & lara-dukaku untukMu; di sanalah rehatku
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; agar aku yakin selalu; dunia ini persinggahan sejenak, seberangan selintas
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; yang sejak kini telah jadi peraduan hati, memulihkan taatku setiap tertatih
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; janganlah kelaliman durjana & khianat kekasih membatalkan imanku & rahmatMu
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu satu rumah di surga itu"; bimbing aku mengetuk-ngetuk pintunya sejak kini; dengan bakti tak henti-henti.
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; jadikan shalawatMu sebagai pokoknya, ridhaMu pilarnya, rahmatMu penaungnya
"Rabbi, bangun untukku di sisiMu sebuah rumah di surga itu"; demikian doa Asiyah yang mulia, istri Fir'aun si durjana; kami hayati makna

--Taken from tweets Salim A. Fillah @ salimafillah

Little Note from Reflective Parental Briefing today

Alhamdulillah, I learn more today, as I joined parental briefing at Madrasah Al Irsyad.telinga ini berasa dijewer kanan kiri selama acara :)

Here are some points I noted down:
- learn to love parenting..then everything will be seen to be just right
- start seeing child as a gift...indeed, there are a gift, thanks God!
- enjoy seeing child grow every second...
- put in your mind:
              ~ my child continues my mission
              ~ my child is a potential khalifah fil ard
              ~ Life is a Test...All Test is a gift...with this in mind, every problem is enjoyable
- set family purpose, as children must be able to see where the family is heading:
             ~ love to obey Allah and Rasullullah
             ~ love to serve neighbours
             ~ be thankful to Allah at all time
             ~ show to child that Quran guides us
             ~ reflect these at every end of day
- express understanding for child's feelings
- show empathy without condoning
- your child is in process of becoming you:
           ~ what parts of me ready for role modelling?
           ~ what parts of me need to improve?

this is part that I love it the most:
You and your child are each other's life coach...thanks to you, kids...for teaching me to be patient and grateful on every moment of this life!

Chit-Chat on Sunday Morning

ini chitchat antara emak dan her P3 boy in Sunday morning,31 march 2013.
Bangun tidur,Al diminta ibu minum air putih 1gelas.sering kali dia minun sambil bersungut2,dan sering kali juga ibu told him,"this is for your own good,believe me."
pagi itu juga sama, Al minum sambil bersungut2. Dan ibu bilang,"This is good for your body. It doesn't mean I want to torture you..."
"Yes, it is a torture to me" jawab Al."Itu juga yang aku bilang ke teacher-ku karena now in class aku sit with two girls..."
Aku pun sebenernya heran...two girls??
Dan Al mulai cerita, kalo untuk Term 2 ini his Form Teacher re-arrange seating in his class.Dan hasilnya 7 of 16 boys seat with girls.And some of them, included him, sit with two girls. Sewaktu aku tanya kenapa, dia cuma bilang, nggak tau...:)

sniff..sniff...mommy sensed something strange going on...It is not common for Madrasah, who usually separated the seating between boys and girls. So, must be for certain reason if the teacher arranged that way.

Ibu investigate further dengan pertanyaan ala detektif hehehe..." I know the reason why your teacher did so. Itu karena teacher kamu percaya you can take care of those girls..."
" Nggak mommy. Mereka yang disuruh take care of me." jawab Al. My detective style was working...buat statement yang paling salah, dan Al akan deny it trus ngejelasin tanpa perlu ditanya-tanya lagi.

Teachernya bilang, she arranged him to sit with two girls, so he would not be going around and talking in class anymore, like he always did. And those girls are not quiet girls according to Althaf...seems his teacher's intention is to make those girls watch over him huahahha.

<sigh> I am glad that his form teacher arranged that way. Hopefully it means that she knows what Althaf's 'special needs'...*positive words  for saying Althaf's weaknesses hehehhe

Young Man and the Big Heart

My husband has shared this several months ago. It keep on flying in my mind..so better I write it here :)
It was Friday before zuhur, and many men came into Darussalam Mosque for Friday prayer. There was Primary School student of Madrasah Al Irsyad welcoming on the front door with donation tin for his school.

Many men put money into the tin. Some of them after put money into the tin, then put some to the boy's pocket. Common rule...It was supposed to be for him...

When Friday sermon was about to start, he went to one corner at the back where he kept his bag. He was unaware that my husband was looking at him for quite some time. He then took out all the money in his pocket, and at my husband's surprise, he put everything to the donation tin. All the money!

I didn't see when it was happened, and he was not my son either. But, when my husband shared this, I felt like I am the one who proud of him the most :)
That young man, in hir early years of life, has such a generous heart. I believed he has many of boy's stuff he wanted to have in his mind, but he just don't want to take that money. He chose to donate it to his school. He has such a unconditionally generous heart..He didn't do that good deeds to be seen by people...

May Allah bless him always, keep him to do that for the rest of his life. May Allah bless his parents, his teachers...who introduce him on that unconditionally good deed..Aamiin

What is it 'Being good'?

Wah udah lama banget ni blog gak dikunjungin...ini ter-inspire dengan Shifa (now 10years old). Dia sekarang suka untuk tulis diary..ada yang di komputer (tapi off line), ada yang di buku.

It's remembering me how I used to be...sering mengharu biru ke diary heheheh

Kejadian ini last week, on Friday night. Setelah menghadiri tausiyah di Al-Falah Mosque. Dua anak ikutan juga, setelah dijanjiin ke McDonald setelah acara.
Kita ke McDonald di Youth Park, Orchard. Baru pertama kali ke daerah itu, baru tau juga kalo di situ tempat teenagers ngumpul..ya iyalah, namanya juga Youth Park huahahaha

McDonald cukup penuh, kita dapet table for 4 at the corner. tapi ternyata chair-nya kurang satu. Seems group of girls (gog#1) di depan kita use it, karena mereka bertiga sedangkan itu table for 2.
Lihat sekeliling, gak ada bangku nganggur. Di sebelah kita ada group of two girls (gog#2) menggunakan table for 4 juga, lengkap dengan 2 chairs and 1 long bench. Walaupun cuma berdua, mereka used all the chairs, untuk tas2 mereka.
Tapi seems mereka gak perhatiin kalo kita lagi cari 1chair...tetap asyik chit chat and eat.

It's ok...setelah meals siap, kita duduk di bangku yg ada. 1 chair for Shifa, long bench diisi Althaf, aku, dan Ayah...squeezed :)

Gog#1 and gog#2 gak ada respons, tetep aja chit chat and eat.sekali2 mereka liat ke arah kami, tapi tetep..no respons..aku dan ayah cuma bisa ngomongin dua group ini pake bhs jawa..apa lah yg ada di pikiran girls ini? bisa tetep ketawa, ngobrol, dan makan sedangkan di deket mereka ada keluarga yg empet2an duduknya :(

Setelah selesai, kita diskusiin ini dengan anak2. We just want them in the future, to see around, not busy with themselves only....di manapun...and then to think, kalo ada orang lain yang bisa kita offer help.

Aku bisa conclude bahwa Being Good itu ada level2nya:
1. Being good: tidak mengambil hak orang lain
2. Being good: tidak mengambil hak orang lain + offer orang lain apa yang bisa kita bantu

These two group, gog#1 and gog#2 sudah Being good, dalam definisi pertama. Mereka tidak mengambil hak orang lain, tidak mengganggu orang lain. walaupun gog#1 took the chair from our table, but it was before we came. So, we can say they are not wrong, according to #1 definition of being good.

Tapi, kalau kita liat Being good according to #2 definition, something missing on them, especially gog#2. Sebenernya mereka bisa do more, dengan offering 1 extra chair to us, the one need chair at the moment. Toh, mereka masih punya banyak space...

Mudah2an akan lebih banyak parents yg introduce the kids to be good, in #2 definition..Insya Allah